(draft)

July 21, 2006

 A vow: I foresee my present to be void, empty of essence - caught in the chaotic web of causation. From fear and ignorance, I’d seek false asylum in tainted house; where I seek I to be the safest refuge. My presents became significant, my existence became unique; it has claimed independence. Soon, the thirst for serenity is indulged whenever danger and treachery bestowed on to I. After all, we are children of the ruin - we cannot escape our nature; we believe it is our nature, it is natural, and it is what it supposes to be. How can I refute such truth? The truth most attune to. Thus, with my limited ability and comprehension, I vow for something incomprehensible, something wishful, and something against I – I vow to destroy myself, that this existence is not impended onto me, that I am the children of the ruin caught in the chaotic web of causation. My existence extends to causal infiniteness; until I completely destroy myself, I shall only practice compassion for all sentient beings, respect all beings because they created me.

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