the infamous mind attack destroyed

alright, i have reach a point where many activities are becoming dull and pointless. i am losing meaning and i am losing friends… i guess i just have to hang on, get my butt into motion…after this….is it possible after i die?

 

well, it 9 am in the morning, a sunday morning, the net seem to be a place i feel no use, it’s becoming a lonely place….as i ponder about the subject matter to write on, i ponder in depth of my problems, problem i do not want to bother and i can not hope for someone to save me from it.

 

i was thinking political, the social political situation in Malaysia, the "one-party press", and the patheticness of Malaysian journalism ( in main stream media). but there was a topic i really wanted to discuss a long time ago, "rape", the frequency and the responses.

i guess i’ll briefly talk about the latter topic until i feel like going back to bed….

 

Now, without the maths, i have make the assumption base on the reports from the media. the rate of rape in this country has risen to a riduculous level? why? without any basis on the past and comparison, but i’m grounding on my gut feeling and observation from the news paper. in seven days, it is likely to spot one reported case in the media every two days. sometimes more but that is really not the subject matter. the subject is, people have "accepted" the fact that it is not always very save for womyn at certain places; the middle class womyn would be aware and would totally avoid such places- they would have cars, buddies ( not saying that they are free from attacks, but i just want to bring in some awareness about socio-background in relation with reported rape cases, many times it happens to the "statuesly less statues" in society) anyway, back to the point, ( or there is no point at all) - acceptance is one issue, the response is another: at the rate, there is no "out cry" or even "voices" of concern - the people and government are almost equally in denial, where the issue are not consider to be an alarmingly serious problem. we, somehow have reach a point where it is acceptable to feel fear, insecurity, and the restriction of freedom…we know according to the media, that "crime" has increase for some random and unknown reason. ( yes, i do not believe there is any discussion about crime and why is it increasing, there are just more migrants/ alien criminals in the country) - speaking of that, besides the existing "racial" issues, we ( as "citizen" or rather occupants of a certain territory) are creating other "racial" issues with other "alien" community… personally, i hate the word "race", but the media, the government, the people use it to distinguish "identity". for promoting multi-culture society, yet we constantly discreet the difference - so we are actually a different race, are we really different?

i believe i have gone of tangent, but who cares…. this is not a "proper" article or any of it’s kind,

it’s my mind…..

okay, i think the issue with "race" has some part in the issue on rape, gang rape and other forms of sexual assault, but i shall not dwell in there, since i have not done sufficient research on it…..

 

anyway, the issue is simple, the "people" has rely/ dependent on the " multi-gang-up government" … haha no, no, it’s just a blind attack, obviously the issue is much much more complicated…. but here is what i want to say…. i am disgusted every time i read the papers about it, imagine the unreported cases, and cases the media didint’ bother to cover. there is a serious readjustment to be made—- the way i see the problem is, one, cultural "ignorance" on the assumption or "imbeded" idea in patriarchy ideology, i beleive it is mainly an stupid understanding of "tradition" and "tradition";  so it goes to the traditional way of male and female blah blah..  that’s one. Two,  government/ policy/ education/ economy… the people who are in parliament , with their nice royal like titles are part of this  "tradition", decadence!  well, cannot deny their interest in "modernization" and idustralization, in the expense of "cultural POVERTY" and  suffering in the guise of economic  gain…  three  -  cannibalization. Four, men. Five. MEN. six. alright this is important…. no one  is brave enough to voice it out! louD!  who is going to "link" the problem….. we are treating each issue "discreetly" to avoid "complication", and by the unholy GOD, we are a bunch of ignorant fucks! " we want him to be punish, he is a criminal!" "he deserves to be punished" "put him in jail!" "eradicate the criminals!" …………

 

 

 

when the routine of ‘life’ seem to take whole of your life, you start to search for this essense. and this essense seems to give some meaning. you wonder, you think about it and you tell yourself "it’s okay, i am done with it". yet, and the truth, if there ever was the truth, is (it lingers on). the troubled sensation is your whole life, and you try to compensate with another thought, another activity, another passion, something, just seomthing to take "this" pain away. and you realise that you can never really escape this ‘life’. so you give in, you conform to yourself and the mystery forces. and this is how we trap ourself. i salute to this thing we know as ‘life’, it is truly the best alienating experience. you get first class every time.

to those out there, who believed, who are caught but refused to be part off, who fight and fight against ‘life’ for life. you know time is running up. i think ‘life’ is too big to fight against. and most people are caught in it with a few controling it who are also caught in it. idiots!

what can i say?

so where do we escape to this time? what is the next solution. when do we wait for another problem? the question is what other problem do we create for the future when the only problem is our problem. 

 

and someone, some being, something, or some force, take me now, take me to another dimension and another plain, kill me now, i belong here not. may my ‘life’ cease for a peace of mind. it is hopeless to hope.

This is an excert from wiki:

A genre [ˈʒã:rə], (French: "kind" or "sort") is a loose set of criteria for a category of literary composition; the term is also used for any other form of art or utterance.

In all art forms, genres are vague categories with no fixed boundaries. Genres are formed by sets of conventions, and many works cross into multiple genres by way of borrowing and recombining these conventions. The scope of the word "genre" is usually confined to art and culture, particularly literature. In genre studies the concept of genre is not compared to originality. Rather, all works are recognized as either reflecting on or participating in the conventions of genre.

I’ve started with the copy, the brief definition, the explanation from wiki because i think its "fair", i do believe that as "conventional" beings, it is "necessity". what exactly - i believe there is none, but it is more like a "tool of necessity" - The conventional means of communication and categorization, it has become our reductionist habit, our discriminatory behaviour, What Has? The way (in general) and as far i can imagine, it as the "distinction engine". i say, it has always been there (metaphysically) and throughout times we use it differently; the application defers from time to time; the way differ? i hope you get what i mean…

Photography, as one pick this "tool" and start "creating" existence and all there is - it is boundless, well it feels like it, perhaps not. It is "new", it is infinite, and the analogy or the idea of a new born baby - the idea about a "start" "directionless". In other way, there is some sense of being "pure" but lets not go too far. one start exploring and exploring, and soon, there is a particular "way", assuming that every individual will come across major character "build-up" (from socialization or/and self-realization. i believe they are the same, self-realization in what you really "really" prefer? it’s a difficult question, but i like to challenge you that you don’t actually … hmmm put it this way, you are not "The Agent" of self realization (of a particular character…) fuck me?… no fuck you! ignorant arrogant piece of shit! we are in the same plane!

ah, photography,, and art in general…. okay, so, as you explore, you find that this particular way of "taking" it, expressing it "feels" right, it is something i want to go into, experiment, experience, etc thus i go (maybe after a period of time, i will lost interest, but i do not know) and since, you would like to share this "way" of expressing, (if you really want to) and you need to communicate to others, to let others know, understand etc. A formulation in language begins, you start to use words to identify/describe a particular phenomenon, you start to use words for a method, a technique etc. and soon, there seem to be a wealth of data, knowledge, documentation, etc… it becomes a discipline, a particular way of art……a particular way of expressing……

 

I’m a consumer, I am a consumer, I consumed, I consumed, I am a consumer, I conform, I conform, I conform, I conform, I am a consumer, I’m the product of a product, I conform, I am a conformist and a consumer, I am a consumer, a consumer, mindless consumer in the sway of the shop keeper, I’m the consumer, I’m product of the product, joyless consumer in the sway of the shopping mall, I’m a consumer, I conform, I love shopping, I love to consume, I want to consume, I have to consume, I need to consume, I’m a consumer. All hail to the shop keeper! All hail, all hail, all hail! I’m a lemon, I am a lemon, I’m lemon, sometimes a honeydew, I’m a lemon, I am a lime, I am a watermelon, I am a watermelon, sometimes a mango, I’m a lemon, I’m lemon, maybe a blueberry, I’m a watermelon, I’m a watermelon, I’m a lemon, sometimes a strawberry, sometimes a pineapple, I’m a lemon, I’m a watermelon, But most of the time I’m a cucumber. Peanut butter is nice, peanut better is nice, peanut butter is nice, peanut better be nice, peanut butter scotch and lemonade with strawberry cream is nice, peanut butter is nice, blueberry jam too, blueberry jam is nice, blueberry jam is nice, blueberry jam is nice, tofu is nice too. I like psychedelic raisin, I like raisin, I like raisin, I like ice-cream, I like ice-cream, I like creamy ice-cream, I like natterjack, I like natterjack, I like natterjack, I like fast natterjack, I like avocado, I like avocado, I like avocado, I like avocado.

So here I am, betwixt no where
I wanted to see you at six am
Clearly, my dreams lie to me
I’m here to suffer and here to dance by myself
But I’ll live it again
It’s misery but we are all in it
It will merry us to death
And every hour it’s always different
Where ever I run
So easily